When I was in sixth grade I was diagnosed with bone cancer. My friends have always been important to me and I dreaded having to tell them the news of my illness. How would they take it? Would they still be my friends because of it? Many other questions came into my mind, too.
That same night I realized my life had to change, but I wanted my friends to stay just the way they were—caring, concerned and always fun to be with. Fortunately, my friends couldn’t have been more supportive and loving. Two of my friends came over that night to talk. We cried a little, but we also laughed, making the tension in the room decrease. I think they expected me to cry and they were going to be there to listen to me.
Actually, we ended up listening to each other. Many people called me that night, too. It was like Grand Central Station. A very close friend brought over flowers. It was going to be a long haul, and there would be plenty of time to cry. Dealing with cancer would be hard, I thought. I couldn’t imagine putting my friends through this. I felt I had to be the strong one. I tried to be strong for everyone, and they were strong for me.
In the weeks and months to come, all of my friends did anything they could to help in any way: phone calls, visits, gifts, prayers, and most of all words of encouragement and love. Those were the things that kept me going. Some days were bad, some were good, and some were great. If I looked depressed, someone would always be there with a smile and a big bear hug.
From the beginning, I told everyone not to shy away from me just because I had cancer. I told them to be open with me and ask me any question. No question was “stupid.” I told them everything about what was going to happen and how the chemotherapy would affect me. I thought they should know.
When I relapsed in the summer of my junior year of high school, I know the road would be even rougher. I had been through this already and so had my friends. For some reason, that didn’t make it any easier. The chemotherapy was more aggressive, and I was even more sick than last time. This time, I wasn’t afraid to let them see me at my worst, or see me hurting emotionally or physically. Some days I would be miserable, and there was nothing they could do but sit and listen to me complain and cry.
Something as awful as cancer has brought us closer together, and we all have grown up because of it. I guess you could say that I put my friends to “ the test” by having them deal with cancer right along with me. The result: nothing will ever change the relationship I have with the best friends anyone could ever have!
Jolene, diagnosed at 14 with Osteo Sarcoma, article written at 17. Reprinted from "Kids with Courage:Growing up with Cancer"; Board of Regents of the University of Wisconsin System, 1998